Bromance, Not Romance
by Laree England
Summary: During one of Steve's "computer class sessions" with Tony, they discover fanfiction and what some people think their relationship should be like. Sucky summary, I don't know how else to summarize it without giving everything away:


**Thinking of what Steve's reaction would be to what some people write on here was just too funny and complicated and interesting to not write it. So, I did. I'm not targeting anyone specific, I'm just writing this to find out what their reactions would be:) this is **_**NOT**_** a slash story! BROMANCE! **_**BROMANCE, **_**people! And I haven't used any actual summaries from this site. That would be rude. And mean. I'm just protesting against the general community of slash. And so are the characters.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers.**

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers were both at Stark Tower, the seventh day of Steve's "computer lessons." Steve personally saw no purpose for learning how to use this electronic mystery, but Tony had insisted on it. Steve had said that he would do it just to get Tony out of his hair, but honestly, he couldn't help but appreciate, in the _slightest_ way possible, mind you, the extra time spent with the billionaire.

Today was "browsing" day. Steve had whiled away the time typing in random things into the search bar and seeing what he could find. He had started out by searching all the things that he had heard the team referencing to (he had kept a little notebook and written them all down) so that he could have a mild idea what in the world they were talking about. Stephen Hawking, for example, wasn't just a "really smart person" like Coulson had described. He was a brilliant scientist who had ALS. He was a professor at Cambridge University. He had PHDs in subjects like math and physics. He didn't know why Coulson couldn't have given him this description instead of "a really smart person," like Steve was some kind of old grandpa…

Oh.

Then he had gotten curious. He typed in "the avengers" into the search bar and had found a lot of fansites for them, as well as hatesites, but he ignored those. The images that people had posted had been very flattering as well. Then he got even more curious and had typed himself in. Thus, he stumbled on a wonderful little site that you might be familiar with, called "fanfiction."

Steve had enjoyed this site very much. There were a whole library full of stories for his lovely team, and he laughed at the crazy circumstances that their fans had put them in. His cheeks got a little pink as he found stories of him and Tony, where they would refer to each other as brothers and act as a family. Where they put their differences aside and dove into a somewhat-healthy friendship. "Bromance," they had called it. Steve turned around in his chair and looked at Tony, who was working on the plans for his next tower. Steve sighed.

Steve shook his head. He was _Captain America._ Defender of the the United States, the whole _world_, in fact. He had been frozen in ice for 70 years. He was not some wishy-washy guy who wanted a "bromance" with his teammate. No. He was strong. A warrior. A very manly, masculine-

"What you looking at, Cap?" he heard Tony ask.

Steve's face turned even redder as he realized that he had been staring at him the whole time. He quickly shifted his eyes over Tony's right shoulder. "Your blueprints."

Tony gave him a dubious look and shrugged. "It's nothing special."

"I think it's great." said Steve.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "You called this one a big ugly building." he said, gesturing around him.

"That was before I had an appreciation for modern architecture."

"You mean before you learned to lie just to make me happy?"

Steve's mouth moved wordlessly and Tony chuckled.

"What have you got going on there?" Tony asked, pointing to the computer screen.

Steve looked back to the computer and had to restrain from slapping himself on the forehead as he realized he had an entire page pulled up of him and Tony. "Uh - just a, er, fan thingy..."

To Steve's horror, Tony actually walked over, placing his hand on the back of Steve's seat and the other on the table that the computer was set upon.

_Sure, Tony, take no interest when I'm looking up Stephen Hawking, but as soon as I have this stuff up you're suddenly curious. Great, Tony. Real great._

"Is this...?"

Steve cleared his throat and tried to throw out an excuse. "Never now what you'll find while -er- _browsing._"

Tony stared at the screen some more and his eyebrows scrunched together. Steve uncomfortably squirmed in his seat. A long silence stretched out, and Steve could feel perspiration begin to form at his temple. Crazy aliens, he could handle. An angry Tony?

That was a whole other story.

Just when Steve had made up his mind to make a break for it, Tony burst out laughing.

"Have you read any of these summaries?" Tony asked, tears forming at his eyes because he was laughing so hard. " 'Tony and Steve apologize and start to build their new-found friendship.' 'Tony and Steve put aside their differences and wander down the path of brotherhood.' As if! And look at this term," he pointed at the screen. "Bromance? What is that? These people are nuts! We would _never_ do _any _of this!" he took a step back and continued to howl with laughter.

Steve uneasily laughed along_. Never? _Steve had thought that they were getting better, that perhaps he could get into a better friendship with the man that always fought at his side. It would make it easier to fight with him. Plus, he might live up to be the type of friend that Bucky was. Just… not quite as virtuous and conservative.

After Tony had wiped his eyes he came back, taking over the mouse and scrolling down. Something caught his eye and he stopped, squinting at it.

"What is it?" Steve asked.

"What does this mean?" Tony asked in reply, pointing to the screen.

" 'Steve and Tony slash.' " Steve read aloud. He recognized the term. He had seen it in many, many other summaries. He shrugged. "I don't know. But it's in a lot of the summaries."

In a blink Tony had taken over the keyboard as well, his fingers flashing over the keys. In about two seconds flat he had gotten to a page titled "fanfiction dictionary" and scrolled down until he reached the term "slash."

"Slash." Tony began to read out loud, putting his left hand back onto the back of Steve's seat. "A genre of fanfiction that focuses..."

Tony's voice faded out, and his eyes appeared to be stuck on the sentence.

"What?" Steve asked.

Tony shook his head, switching the tabs. "Nothing."

"What?" Steve asked again, more insistently.

Tony shook his head again, and Steve noticed that his body had gone shaky.

"_What_, Tony?"

Tony swallowed and cleared his throat, going back to the dictionary tab. "A genre of fanfiction that focuses on the depiction of romantic relationships between fictional characters of the same sex."

Steve's eyes widened and his face drained of color. He read the sentence for himself and couldn't believe what he was reading.

"Does that mean...?"

Tony nodded. "People think that we're a couple."

The longest stretch of silence that they had ever lived through followed this epiphany. They both suddenly became extremely aware of Tony's position over Steve, and Tony quickly stepped away.

"Er…"

"So…"

"Well. That was disturbing."

"People…think that we're a couple." Steve said dryly. "They _want_ us to be a couple. They'd _like_ it if we were a couple."

"A bromance seems to be very appealing now." said Tony, gagging,

Steve buried his face in his hands. "I will never go on the internet again. The people are scary."

There was another silence and Steve could feel Tony's eyes bore into the back of his head. They both tried to suppress it, but their imagination took over, filling their minds with the possibilities. Steve could hear rushed footsteps and peeked out between his fingers in time to see Tony rush into the bathroom with his hand over his mouth.

_You and me both_, Steve thought, putting his head back into his hands.

When Tony returned from the bathroom he saw Steve sitting on his couch, staring into nothing. He walked up to the super soldier and tapped him weakly on the shoulder.

"Get back in the saddle, Cap."

"Are you okay, Tony?" Steve asked, standing up to look at him. He looked pale and clammy. Steve put a hand on Tony's forehead. "Come on, Tony, I'm not that homely, am I?"

Tony made a face at him. "What, you don't - ?"

"Woah! No way!" Steve put his hands up, taking a step back.

"And I think that you know how I feel about it from my performance over there. Alright, now that we've gotten that settled." Tony pointed to the computer. "Get back in the saddle."

Steve had been hoping that that wasn't what he had meant. He shook his head hard, a look of dread in his eyes.

"Go," Tony said with the tone of an impatient parent, pointing and tapping his foot.

"You _seriously_ want me to go back on that thing? What if there's something worse?"

"I don't think that there is _anything_ worse, Capsicle." said Tony, who was growing pale again just thinking about it.

"Woah, Tony. Just - don't think about it, okay? You're going to get sick again."

"And you don't - "

"No, Tony. I have _never_ thought of _anyone_ on this team that way. Or any person of the same gender, in fact." Steve raised an eyebrow. "Have you?"

Tony held out his hands. "Does _no one _remember Pepper?"

Steve shrugged. "Just checking."

"Go," Tony repeated, waving at the computer before collapsing on the couch.

"Uh uh," Steve protested, crossing his arms.

Tony rolled his head to look at Steve and he smirked evilly. "I'll kiss you."

"I'm going!" Steve said, setting himself in front of the computer screen.

A few minutes passed with no mishap, but once he exited out of the tab that they had used to look up "slash," he didn't really pay attention to what he was doing, which had catastrophic consequences. Steve lost his voice, but one he found enough air, his voice cracked as he called out:

"Tony…"

"Hm?"

"_Tony…_"

"What?"

"TONY! I CAN'T GET RID OF IT!"

"What is so damn scary?"

"TOOOOOONYYYYYY!"

Now Tony was concerned. He rushed over to Steve, who looked white as a sheet. His eyes were wide with terror, and he seemed unable to look away from the screen, which had a series of images on it. It took Tony a second to recognize what it was.

"I found something worse." Steve said weakly.

"What the hell is this?"

They both stared in horror at the images.

Images of _them_.

In very… _Interesting_ positions, to say the least.

They just stared at the traumatizing photos for a second, and then, simultaneously, they both found a corner in opposite ends of the room and put their head in between their legs, trying to shut the images out of their minds.

"Tony? Steve?"

Bruce walked into the room and looked around. He couldn't see them. He knew that Steve had been taking computer lessons from Tony (Steve had made the excuse that he only did it to get Tony off his back, but Bruce knew that he was doing it because he felt more at ease and at home with Tony). He looked on the couch, in the bar, at the table, but he couldn't find them. Were they taking a dinner break out?

That's when he spotted Tony. He was curled up in the corner, moaning softly and pressing his hands to the back of his neck.

"Tony…? Are you alright?" Bruce asked, rushing to him and feeling his forehead. "Where's Steve?"

Tony raised a weak finger, not looking, but pointing to where the soldier was. "There," he said, and Bruce could smell vomit on his breath.

Steve was also balled up, his head between his legs, and probably as far away from Tony as he could get. What could have possibly made both of these Avengers retreat like cowards? From what he could see of Steve's exposed skin, it was also pale and clammy like Tony's.

"What happened?" Bruce asked when he had reached Steve, feeling his forehead in turn. Neither had fevers, but they were both obviously and visibly sick.

"That." Steve answered, pointing at the computer.

Bruce chuckled. "The complicated machine couldn't have been that bad, could it have?"

Steve shook his head. "It wasn't the computer."

Bruce walked over to the computer and moved the mouse, causing the monitor to light up. Bruce raised his eyebrows as he realized what the figures were… what they were _doing_. He quickly exited out of it, turning around and trying to shake the images from his mind.

He cleared his throat. "So. Tony. Who put a camera in your room?"

Tony glared at him like that was some kind of sick joke.

Bruce looked back and forth between Steve and Tony. "I'm serious. Are you guys upset because it leaked?"

"You're joking, right?" Tony said.

Bruce blinked.

"You wouldn't _honestly_ think that Tony and I would…" Steve looked like he was going to be sick.

"But… There's pictures right there…" Bruce gestured to the computer.

"Bruce. People _drew_ those." Steve said, realizing that that was even more disturbing than if it really had been him and Tony. He stretched out his legs and stared at the Hulk with disbelief. "We didn't - "

"You didn't really think that we were _together_, did you, Bruce?" Tony asked, staring at him.

"Well, I - "

"_Bruce_!" Steve exclaimed, his mouth hanging open.

"Hey! I knew Tony's past and what he's done and how you guys are practically always together, and I'm just saying that I wouldn't be surprised if - "

"_No_," Steve groaned, putting his head in his hands again.

"Bruce," Tony said, standing up. "Steve and I are in a bromance. _Bro_mance."

Steve started laughing.

"What is so funny?" Tony snapped, but a bit of pink crept in his cheeks as he realized what he had said.

"You started out this morning by saying that we would _never_ get anywhere _close_ to a bromance, and now you're enunciating it to Bruce."

Tony tried to brush it off in his most Tony-ish way. "So?"

Steve stood up and walked over to him. "You're a softie."

Steve gathered Tony up in a hug, only to be foiled by Tony pushing him roughly away.

"Not today, Capsicle. Not after that."

"But like you said, we're in a 'bromance!'" Steve grinned and ruffled Tony's hair. Tony jerked away and held up a finger in warning. Steve reached out for his neck to pull him down into a head-lock, but Tony ducked down to the side, holding up his hand.

Steve felt so high that he put one hand on his chest and extended another out to Tony in a serenading singing stance and sang, "Bromance! Nothing really gay about it!"

"Get away from me, you freak." Tony said, starting to back away.

"Bromance! Shouldn't be ashamed or hide it!" Steve jumped up onto the couch and extended both arms out to Tony. "I loooove you! In the most heterosexual way!"

"Know what? I'm gonna knock some sense into you. I'm putting on the suit."

"You do that, bromance buddy!" said Steve, beginning to sing again. "When life gets tough, and times get hard, I will always love you! I'll be your body guard! Because you're my bestie!"

"I'm going!" Tony said, walking towards his suit.

"Brother from another mother never knew how much I loved you until I started singing this song!"

Tony walked the rest of the way out to his suit, and the machine began to whirl around him, putting on his suit piece by piece. Steve grabbed his shield from one of Tony's closets and rushed out to meet Tony, shouting "I love you bro!"

"I changed my mind!" Bruce could hear Tony from outside. "We're not in a bromance!"

Bruce watched all this happen, slowly inching his way out the door, and as got off the elevator and started strolling back down the street, he couldn't help but start to hum, with explosions in the distance from Tony's suit as a backbeat:

"Bromance…"

**I hope you all enjoyed it! The song that Steve sings is "Bromance" by Chester See and Ryan Higa. Review!**


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